Twenty minutes. That’s how long I get to walk every day. Ten minutes in one direction. Ten minutes back. Hardly worth getting dressed for, in my opinion. Twenty-minute walks? That’s what my mom does, and she is 90. In fact, she didn’t quite understand my complaining tone when I tried to enter my frustration as a conversational topic. “Well, that’s just what it is,” she said. She is turning all zen on us in old age.

Winter has finally arrived in Montana, and I got to ski only once before my pain flared up. No skiing, no dancing, no walking…

Where you lead
I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, if you need me to be with you
I will follow
Where you lead
Carole King — Where You Lead

I was ready to do that for someone: jump on the next train when they called out my name just because they were “lonely and so cold.” And for sure, I wanted someone to do that for me: move to New York City no matter what kind of home they had always dreamed of.

Since then, I have learned a lot about co-dependence and am…

When was the last time you were at a dinner party?

A friend of mine asked this on Facebook last week, and most people answered with dates before the time when simple dinner parties became cherished memories.

My answer was “every last Friday of the month.” We call them Soup Fridays. My husband and I make a big pot of soup, I bake some bread, and if we have the energy, we make desserts, too. Then we pack everything up in brown paper bags, get in the car and deliver soup to friends around town. …

A haiku reflection on taking a break

when day sets to rest
she will not worry about
who’s disappointed

Two things floated around in my head today:

One: Yes, I want everyone to do nothing from time to time. Not accomplish anything. Get some rest. Rest it as if you depend on it. There is nothing more important to do when you are resting. It’s simply not restful if you shame yourself for not being productive.

Two: If it’s okay to disappoint anyone but ourselves (thanks to Glennon Doyle for that insight), other people have permission to disappoint us. They…

I find fake news spreaders infuriating. And don’t get me started with conspiracy theory believers. “What’s wrong with people?” I ask. “Why can’t you just check the facts before posting this shit? Why would you even believe something so obviously false?” Imagine my shame when I realized I was one of them. Had been for many years.

Some Facts About Fake News and Conspiracy Theories

An MIT study called The spread of true and false news online found that

• falsehood spreads “significantly farther, faster, deeper, and more broadly than the truth in all categories of information”
• false news is more novel than true news
• fake news generates replies…

Last January, we asked the stocker in the produce section where they had moved the kale and he said: “Oh, we are out of kale. It’s January.” Great, I thought. I am already avoiding the crowded gym, and now I can’t eat what I always eat? I had some judgments about people who make new year resolutions and then just go back to ‘normal’ after a month.

Why was I judgemental about January kale-eating? Well, because my soul was already fighting against one of my own resolutions: disciplined planning.

I had bought another in a series of expensive planning systems…