A Shoutout to Anonymity
It can be a catalyst for belonging rather than isolation.
I want to give a shout-out to anonymity today. Anonymity is misunderstood and underrated. It is a catalyst for belonging rather than isolation.
If you are a member of a 12-step program, you might nod in understanding. Everybody else is probably going, “Whaaaaat?”
Let me explain by sharing a quick excerpt from Courage to Change, one of Al-Anon’s* daily readers:
“Anonymity makes it possible to leave not only our surnames, but all the labels and expectations with which we have been burdened, outside the Al-Anon rooms. Through our commitment to anonymity, we can put aside what we are and begin to know who we are.”
When 12-step programs say they place “principles above personalities,” they mean that they don’t give a shit about what you are (my words, obviously).
- Your roles, riches, titles, and affiliations are worthless.
- Your number of fans, followers, and likers holds no meaning.
The members of these groups know each other on a much deeper level — the who-you-are level, where judgment has no foothold. Where there are no social ladders that may place one fellow above the other. There are no leaders, only servants.
Can you see how this type of anonymity can create the safest kind of belonging? And how striving for more riches, better titles, and higher standing might lead to isolation through compare-and-despair?
Trees, snow, birds, bugs, sunshine, rivers… They all don’t give a shit about what you are, either.
Do you know where else your titles, roles, and labels don’t matter? In nature. Trees, snow, birds, bugs, sunshine, rivers… They all don’t give a shit about what you are, either. They do, however, care who you are. And nature can help you remember whenever you forget. Or when you’ve pushed away the knowing. Or when you are ready to shed an old skin and become someone new.
I know this to be true because it happens during my Forest Therapy experiences. Whenever participants are bold enough to cross the threshold and enter the liminal space between the wild and the tamed world, whenever they are willing to explore the stories that the more-than-human world has preserved for them, they remember who they truly are.
Unless they reach out to me afterward, I can’t know if the remembering remained a glimpse. I have a hunch that most do not accept the call to adventure, not only to remember but to return.
An Invitation: Who are you without all roles and titles?
Spend some time today sinking into anonymity. Who are you without all the whats? Stripped of roles, titles, and achievements — who are you?
Try to access your soul’s answer and take your thinking mind out of it (it will resist all notions of anonymity). Sitting under a tree or by a body of water will support you in this quest.
An Adventure: The Midlife Wilderness Expeditions
If you’re a midlife woman, your soul might be calling you to adventure through overwhelm, discontent, or boredom (or all of them). That’s why I have created the Midlife Wilderness Expeditions — a program for midlife women that combines my Wayfinder Life Coach Training with my certified Nature Therapy Guide skills. Registration for the spring adventure is now open.
If you are ready to take responsibility and claim authority over your happiness, if you are interested in making your next life phase a purposeful and creative hell-yes, follow me here.
*Al-Anon is a program for families and friends of alcoholics. If you are affected by someone else’s drinking (or other addiction), Al-Anon can help. You can find meetings everywhere in the world and online.
